Warmth and Time
by ChocolateStars
Summary: How does one forget when they are unable to let go?


_**Warmth and Time **_

_**(ONE-SHOT)**_

_**by ChocolateStars**_

_**for moeouji.**_

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**[A/N]: **Filled out a prompt for a very wonderful and amazing friend of mine, Moeouji. She is the most sweetest person in the world and she's done so much for me. She likes playing this game call Ayakashi: Ghost Guild and she shared me some of her favourite ships but my favourite has to be her '_ghost agent x Santa'_. So Moe, I hoped you enjoy this story!

Also the cover for this story is drawn by Moeouji herself which is also her Ghost Agent and Santa. So it fits, doesn't it?

But before you can begin reading, I must do a disclaimer and present a few warnings. Firstly, I do not own any characters! Moe's ghost agent belongs to her and the rest belong to Zynga/and their respective owners.

**Warnings:** This is a BL story, meaning boys love. Or Yaoi, if that is what people mostly prefer. So if you do not like or are not interested in homosexual activities/couples, then please do not continue reading. This one-shot also does mention possible suicide although it does not occur in this story. It is a thought remembered from the past and it is only mentioned once. The suicide is not centered/revolved around the story, but if it does make you uncomfortable I suggest not to read it as the character does think about it but not too deeply (hence why the rating is boosted to a T).

So, let's begin!

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Santa could feel the bed beside him shift and move around noisily. He could hear his boyfriend humming and singing while hearing the click of the lamp light turning on.

He had his eyes closed but he could feel himself smile from the lift of his lips. His boyfriend fell silent and Santa wondered why. Few moments later, he could feel his boyfriend using his fingers delicately to brush away Santa's fringe and soon later was greeted with a small yet soft nudge against his forehead.

Santa opened his eyes to find his partner staring back at him, their foreheads nearly touching and Santa was so tempted to kiss him because of how close he was. Cain's ebony hair was falling on Santa's face and Cain used his fingers to carefully try and push his hair behind his ears. Cain's clear, hazel eyes were lighting up in a playful manner but his smile was almost to sweet.

Santa smiled back before reaching up to touch his face. Cain nudged and welcomed the contact, using one of his hand to hold Santa's hand closer. Santa could feel Cain's cheek burning and nearly chuckle. "Don't you have to prepare for an event tomorrow? Best sleep now so you won't regret it." Santa says, gently caressing Cain's cheek. His boyfriend laughs softly. "I'm not tired yet." Cain says before nudging against Santa's hand once more.

Santa pulls himself up and closed his eyes before placing his lips on Cain's. Cain returned it and their kiss deepened. The corner's of Santa's lips lifted, turning it into a smile. He pushed his tongue inside his boyfriend's mouth and Cain gasped. Santa could hear his boyfriend lightly moaning from his teasing.

As they break apart from their kiss, they formed a small string of saliva that made Cain's face turn red as he quickly wiped it away with his hand. Santa chuckled at the sight before pulling his partner towards him. Cain yelped at the sudden movement but later he finds himself hugging his boyfriend and laughing.

_Tick tock._

Santa puts his arms around Cain, wrapping him closer, to be engulfed by his warmth. Cain hums at the contact and allows himself to be drowned in Santa's love and affection. It makes Cain feel protected, needed. Cain had both of his hands against Santa's bare chest and he finds himself feeling it between his hands, tracing every bit of his skin, and lost that he begins to admire his partner's body. Santa could see where Cain's gaze was and had an urge to tease him but instead proceeded to lower his head and nuzzle against Cain's neck. Cain giggles at the contact. "That tickles." Cain whispers and Santa's smile widened. "Oh? Does it?" He asks playfully, proceeding to tickle his boyfriend further. He could hear soft gasps and choked giggles from Cain. "D-don't! I-I'm going to..." Cain laughed, bringing up both of his hands to cover his mouth, muffling his laughs in such an adorable manner that Santa couldn't help but beam.

"Don't do that," Santa gently pulls Cain's hands away from his mouth and leans in to kiss his lips. "I love to hear your laugh." his voice deepened. Santa could see the visible blushes on Cain's cheeks and it made Santa chuckle. Cain gave a slight pout at his reaction.

_Tick tock._

Santa could feel Cain's fingers slowly and stealthily sliding behind his back. His fingers were giving a faint trace against his skin, causing him to shiver. Cain gives a playful smirk and continues to do his work. He gently and carefully, moving his finger around in a pattern and the slight touch made Santa's body twitch in a some sort of unpleasant feeling, one that made his stomach tense and his breath hitch. He couldn't help it any more and he bursts out laughing. Cain was surprised by the sudden outburst from his boyfriend, his eyes widen and his mouth agape at the sight. He later laughs with Santa, impressed he managed to make his boyfriend laugh.

Their stomachs started to ache after a few minutes of laughing so much. After calming down, Santa resumes to cuddle his lover. To have his body against his. He would make an occasion sweet talk and compliment on Cain's body here and there. It made Cain shy and embarrassed that he tends to look away and hide his blushing face. The two were so engrossed with the moment that it was ruined when Santa could hear the irritating noise from the clock again.

_Tick tock._

Santa looked away from Cain to glance at the clock. The big hand was slightly between the two and the three. The little hand was on the ten. It was 10:11. Santa contemplated whether they should both be sleeping at this time or continue.

_Tick tock._

He feels Cain sliding his arms around his neck and trying to pull back Santa's attention to him, "Nicholas." Cain calls his name softly. "What's wrong?" he asks. Santa glares at the clock for ruining their moment before putting his gaze back at Cain. He kisses his partner's forehead and gave a small smile, "Nothing." he replies.

Santa considers that continuing their cuddling session was the best option. Cain is always spending most of his time towards preparing for events and other things that there were never time for the both of them. He was busy strengthening his daemons for battles that sometimes they would never get to see each other for days. He needed this for the two of them. This is where he will know that they both want and love each other. He wants to be with Cain for tonight. He needed to feel Cain's warmth against his. He needs to know that he was still important in Cain's life and that he was still, indeed, in love.

He needed this.

He wouldn't let this opportunity go to waste.

"I love you Nicholas."

_Tick tock._

Cain whispered against Santa's ear.

"I love you s-"_ Tick tock. _"-o much."

"I lo-" _Tick tock. _"-ve you."

_Tick tock._

"I'll-" _Tick._ "-protect-" _T__ock. "-_you."

_Tick tock._

"I-" _Tick._ _"-_won't-" _Tock._ "-leave-" _Tick._

"-you."

Santa could feel his eyes snap open and his heart racing in a rapid rhythm. It was beating loudly against his ears that made his head ache. His whole body started sweating and he feels hot. He could hear the clock ticking in the background and it annoyed him.

What was he doing? Why couldn't he remember what was happening before? It started to irritate him that he could feel himself wrecking his mind trying to figure out what was amiss. What was he doing before?

The room was dark. Wasn't the lamp light turned on?

His head feels light-headed and his head was beginning to spin.

What was happening?

He begins to remember something. It was calming, sweet. A memory...? No, it was more of a dream. There was someone... A face. They were hugging... Laughing. Black hair. Green eyes... A name. Someone he loved.

"_Nicholas."_

"Cain." He calls out and he could feel his world shatter at the sudden mention of the name. This could mean he was finally back to reality and his heart sank at the thought. His head started ringing and he shuts his eyes close. The memories. The awful memories started flooding in his brain.

_Forget it._

He clenches his fist against the sheet of the bed. Clenching and unclenching. The fabric felt rough against his fingers and his palm but he simply couldn't let go of it. He couldn't understand why.

_Don't look._

He moves his body and his head towards the other side of the bed. The side where Cain sleeps. His heart began racing again. It was beating strongly against his chest as if it was about to fall out.

_Stop._

He just wanted this tension to end. He brought his eyes open, knowing what he was about to see will hurt him.

_No._

He remembers and regrets his choice.

It was cold and empty on his side. Cain's side.

Human lives are short. Daemons don't age at all. Santa and Cain knew one day they'd part. It has been that way for a long time but Santa has forgotten how long ago it was. Yet, Cain's death wasn't because of how many years have passed if Santa remembers correctly. He was sick, apparently... but no one really knew the truth of it. Everyone knew something was odd about Cain's behavior before he passed away... Santa regretted not realizing anything sooner.

Santa learns then, that humans were more fragile than he had thought.

Nowadays he dreads of waking up and he knows why. It was because the person he loves is no longer here. He forces his eyes shut and moves over to Cain's side of the bed. He breathes in the familiar scent that was always there... That used to be there. It now lingers around, slowly losing it's sweet smell. Ah, how he remembers being teased about complimenting Cain's smell and being labeled as a pervert for his 'close observation' as the other daemons had called him.

And now, he suddenly recalls of all the memories of his time revolving around Cain... as if they were still fresh in his mind.

He could remember the first time he met Cain and how he finds himself lost for words that he began to admire the other's beauty. He remembers the time where he continuously flirts and teases Cain until Cain teased back about selling him (although it felt more like a threat than a tease). He remembers making up excuses to stay back longer just so he could be alone with Cain.

He remembers how he confessed to Miss Santa about his unrequited love for his master and how he wishes to have Cain for himself and forever. He remembers Miss Santa's warning about falling in love with a human that their relationship will be short... but she never stopped encouraging him for persuading Cain with his efforts and was always there to help him when he didn't know what to do.

...That his first kiss with Cain could have been on Christmas, under the mistletoe, but Santa didn't want it to be chance.

On August 5th, Cain had confessed to Santa that he was truly in love with him. That their _first kiss_ was under the cherry blossom tree that Cain had admire and where he loved sitting under to waste his free time at.

How Cain had said it was all cliché and ridiculous that everything felt like a dream.

That it was all perfect at that point.

Santa remembers all of it, imprinted in his mind and they never left even after Cain was long gone.

Santa could feel the tears coming back as he was reminded of the terrifying time and suffering he had to dealt with the loss of Cain when he woke up in the morning. Santa had found out that his death had occurred while he was asleep, that he had died peacefully, smiling as if he was having a pleasant dream. No one knew what caused his death but everyone had assumed it was a sickness. Santa had never left his side, crying beside his lover endlessly until his friends took him away as he was in such a miserable state to look at... That they couldn't bear to see him hurt himself.

Easing the pain took a while to heal. Santa had trouble sleeping that he never slept for days. He always dismissed his meals and when alone, he was always mourning over Cain's death. Of course it would never be easy to let go... Santa couldn't just forget.

Santa felt that if he were to stop this pain, wouldn't it make sense to end it? His_ life_, that is. He had thought how easy it would be for himself to stop living, a way to stop breathing in a world where he feels suffocated in... He tried to find ways to be inseparable with his partner. Something quick or painless. He had to be reunited with him forever.

Except the thoughts grew more to guilt, shame, and full of regrets that Santa couldn't believe he had even thought of something horrible in the first place. He knew Cain wouldn't forgive him if he had chosen to do these decisions. But he just couldn't find a purpose to live his life... There was no way he could keep himself from going insane if Cain was no longer here for him...

It took him a while to open up, but it had been his friends who stood by him and supported him until the very end. Just like Santa, all of them were upset over Cain's death. Everyone just had different ways of handling the loss of their master and friend.

Santa was then given advice from one of Cain's friends when he came over to visit. He had told Santa it wasn't good to mourn over one's death as it gave the dead a hard time to move on. That it would make Cain upset and harder to leave here as he may feel just as sad as everyone else. Upon hearing that, Santa had tried to forget.

To move on and hoping Cain could rest easily, knowing everything will turn out fine ever after he was gone.

It had worked.

Yet now, once again... He was at his breaking point... but he forces himself not to cry. Not to think about him and try to forget. Cain would've wanted him to move on but Santa wonders if that really was what he wanted and it's because Santa _himself _couldn't forget.

In the few weeks, he'll forget what he would sound like, look like, what he was as a person...

"_I love you Nicholas."_

But that wouldn't change the fact that Santa had loved him and Cain had loved him as well.

"_I won't leave you.__"_

And in the dream... Cain looked beautiful, real... as if he was still alive.

His heart began to ache at the memory of his dream and Santa continues to close his eyes, to stop himself from thinking about all these. He hopes this wouldn't be remembered, something that wouldn't resurface once in a while. Hoping it was a memory that could be easily forgotten. He needs to let go. He needs to move on, he reminds himself.

He inhales the scent from Cain's pillow once more before slowly drifting off to sleep.

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**end.**


End file.
